Insane.

It's crazy to think about everything we went through,
all the secrets we told, all the things we knew.
How much we believed we loved each other.
I threw away everyone else for you on so many different occasions.
And you did the same.
You were everything to me, somehow.
I don't even understand how it did manage to get as far as it did.
How I managed to care about you so much.
I feel so naive looking back.
But it all helped me in the end.
It made me a better man, at least in my mind.
I have a good life now I guess you could say.
At least, to a point. It's not all great at all, but it's better to be positive.
But I'll always, always miss you.

Except now, you're pregnant.
With someone's child.
A twenty-four year old that won't do shit.
I don't understand why that makes me so angry,
but it does.
That's not fair for a man to do that to you.
At least I know you will have things under control.
Despite being in and out of the hospital so much recently,
I know you will.
Hopefully this child doesn't mess up things with school.
You need to be able to do something with your life.
You've been undermined by everything your entire life,
and you've survived it all.
So it's clear you'll survive school, and work, and the hospital trips, and the baby.
I've got my faith.
And despite you not having the same faith I do, I'll pray for you.
Just like I always have.

I'll always consider you a blessing in my life.
But I'm glad we don't speak, to an extent.
I'll always be there when you need something, anything.
But I can't let you become too important again.
it would only further complicate everything I have going on.
Even though you usually just help me with everything,
it's best.

I'd still like to see the tattoo.
And I hope your nieces are doing well and are growing brighter and brighter each day.
I hope you are as well.
I'll always miss you and care about you, like I have said.
But;
Goodbye, for now.