Fraudulent.

You are
A fraud.
A liar.
A deciever.
A cheat.
A con.
A misleader.
A skunk.
A varmint.
A wretch.
A deluder.
A perjurer.
A felon.
A sinner.

You fake mother-fucker.

Don't say it's up to me.

Logan Circle - The Wonder Years.

The Wonder Years and Fireworks are putting me in such a good mood lately.

I'm afraid that we're wasting away
'cause we're all sleeping in circles
or talking shit in diners
and I've been better, but I'm feeling okay
I'm not even sad anymore
I'm just so tired most nights

And I've been drowning my sorrows
In Lucky Charms and Soy Milk
These are the things that keep me sane
Getting pretzels at midnight behind my house
at the price you, can't complain

We set of fireworks
Piss off the whole neighborhood
They keep me up having sex anyway,
seems much worse.
We'll set off a few more
Maybe I'll blow off a piece of this city I hate.

Everyone keeps asking me if I'm okay.

My dad said on the phone last night that I've been acting weird.
He knows about what happened but not full detail.
I don't know think I've been acting weird.
I've just been avoiding being alone.
I've slept at one of my best friend's houses the past two nights, Mauricio's to be specific.
I know if I'm alone I'll think and just develop a deeper depression and find myself lost in my head.

For some reason everyone already knows that everything changed and keeps asking.
I don't feel like I'm acting different at all.
But everyone keeps asking about everything, despite me wanting to keep my mind off it.
But it's not their fault, they don't know and they just worry about me.
It feels really good to have such great friends, actually.

The littlest things about myself seem to be getting on my nerves it seems.
Seeing things on the computer. I think I may just ex-communicate myself from Facebook for a bit.
I'll just stick with Tumblr, Tumblr keeps me sane for the most part. It keeps my mind interested in so many different things that I don't have to worry about anything.
But, I just found myself growing incredibly angry over the fact that my power amplifier still having a terrible hum. For what the fuck reason, I have no clue.
It's not that big of deal, but for seem reason I grew incredibly irritable over it.
I'm not a dick in person yet. Well, I guess I always have been, but no more than usual.

Maybe I should just turn into an ass hole.
I'm already part way there. I'm in no senses nice, so maybe I should just be a full on prick about everything.
I've already started developing a sense of lowering my trust factor.
So only a little longer until I'm just another useless shithead.

Eh, who knows if I'll really do that. It still feels good to put out the idea.

Either way, I don't know how to hold down a front.
More and more questions pop up, but maybe the more that people learn, the less I have to worry.
I'm just over steady things. I've been over everything in this city.
I'm just sticking tight to my friends and family, because that's about all I have now that so many people that I thought I could always count on have discontinued me.
Yeah that's it.
I just have to remember to stick tight.
Because I have the very best bestfriends in the entire world.
Fuck everything else.

I want something to go right and stay right for once.

Everything is just up and down and up and down and I'm fucking sick of it.

I'm fucking sick of sitting here writing all this down for no one to fucking read.
I keep smacking my phone on the ground, I'm just waiting for it to break honestly.
I need to just lay down.
Wipe my mind.

What the fuck.

I about broke my phone just now.
Woo.
Fuck this shit.
SJLG"KL:SHDL:GBHSDOGS:LDSGBLKJBHG:LKJSBHG:LKHGB:LKSDJGBL:KSJDGJVLK
Fuck all of this shit.

And I was actually starting to feel better, as fucked up and weird as the way I went about making me feel better was, it worked.
But this,
I thought I was just going to get told all of the things I did wrong.
I was legitimately looking forward to it.
I love being told things like that for some odd reason.
Because it means I have something to improve on.
What the fuck am I supposed to do with this?

Human beings are the epitome of everything terrible in this world.
Fuck all these emotions inside of me.
Fuck all of the things that humans can actually do.



I need to take a trip up to Carson City, see everything that I haven't seen in about six years.
Yeah, yeah. That sounds, really great actually.
Something actually sounds really great for once.
Get the hell out of here.